|
-- 02.03.2005 Bluddy B: I rolled on over to Woodland Hills Nissan to get my wiper jets fixed (they have to order a part, which blows, so I have to go AGAIN next week), and also to view my lovely, wonderful hybrid Latina biscuit, Karina. I didn't talk to her TOO much, because I didn't want her manager to go, "Mreeeeow! <HEEEEEEEEE!!!>" In any case, I was chillin' in the dopple lobby playing my Game Boy, and lo and behold, who should show up but the Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna that was fagging off with Karina at the bowling alley...further cementing my opinion that the two of them have something going on. This dude reminds me of a younger version of Manager Sucka at the Miller Infiniti dealership. Physically, he's not even a threat. I got like 6 or 7 inches and a good 30 pounds on him...but he's a beeeeeeeeznitch. I was thinking how nice it would be to buck that cat in the chin, and then toss his arse over the Woodland Hills Nissan fence onto the 101 Auf-Bound freeway. What do you think sucka? He's hella whack (and the worse part is, he thinks we're boys, cuz he came up to me to give me some non-homosexual love) If I clipped him a couple times with my polished yolks, do you think Karina would miss him? Your guidance would be most appreciated. Should I send a "Correlo" or two after him?
|
|
-- 02.09.2005 Russ D: What up, just chillin' here feasting some hoooooooooostess crumb dooooonuts from 7-11. So now before you go to the dealership again, first you have to activate resident evil 4. In doing this you can summon the Correlo's to do your bidding, also extracting midget-sucka and putting him in a clear box, and putting that in the bed of your truck. So while the mechanics are doing there thing, the midget-sucka will protect your ride. Now you must stop at 7-11 to get provisions for the journey, or just get some stuff from our makeshift 7-11 in the fridge. Now arriving at the dealer with midget-sucka in the bed and some Correlo's in tow, when you pull into the driveway you must feast a orange cupcake to ward off any veevils. Also you must blast a couple of nasty ones to keep midget-sucka incapacitated. When you first enter the dealership showroom, you'll be greeted by super hotty-hot-hot Karina, and you'll calmly lay the veb down feast style. After talking for a little bit, lo and behold Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna will enter. Then one of the finance suckas from behind a cage yells out, IT HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BEGUN!!!!!! Then you're like, uuuuuuuuhh??? And super-hotty-hot-hot just says that he has started negotiations with a potential buyer and that it was just chance that Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna walked in at the same time.
|
|
-- 02.10.2005 Von Bluddy Bucks: Hey hey, nagga. Just sittin' here on your PC sending you an e-mail while you watch that random show...the dopple "Shield" or "24" or whatever the hizzle it is. That mess rocked though when the dude pressed the other dude's carcass onto the grenade and muffled that peace. It blew the other beeeeeeeeznitch's guts out...so tight. In any case, I just wanted to tell you that I GIGA approved of the first part of the "Pop Quiz: Hotshot." For Part 2, a couple of suggestions if I may:
1. When you start, rock the phrase, "Last time on Busta Sucka Feast" or whatever the name of our "show" is...you know how they do it on Enterprise or Smallville when it's a continuation.
I guess that's it for now...I'm sure you'll make it tight. Hopefully, I can get it for tomorrow.
P.S. - Whatchu know about that freakin' Mudwich, homey? (toss the Mudwich into the quiz too) |
|
-- 02.27.2005 Suck Nut: Your Ho-Hos were calling out to me. I'm sorry I had to bump them off. I reckon you said I could feast them the other day, I just didn't eat them then. In any case, we spitballed A LOT of good ideas for part 2 of the new GIGA quiz...I'm hoping you can knock part 2 of that mess out. Lord willing, it will be GIGA slow on Monday, and you can get at it (hopefully no appointments, either). Just remember, throw in:
1. Energy gel wrestling
I know it will be great...can't wait to read it and laugh my arse off. Peace Izzle,
|
|
-- 03.02.2005 Cloak: Those Ho-Hos were wretchedly old anyway so it's all good, now on with the dopple-quiz. Previously on "Pop Quiz: Hotshot", Russ is confronted by Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna while he's talking to super hotty-hot-hot Karina. All the while some random finance beeeznitch is screaming about someone getting picked off from trying to jack a window stinker off a Nissan Altima, and also at the same time quoting Shang Tsung from mortal wombat. By this time Russ has managed to assemble the finest of backup in case he has to deal with some beeznitches, which consist of midget-sucka, 75 Correlo's and 92 uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh's, all of course from Resident Evil... Now Russ, super hotty-hot-hot Karina which shall now be known as dopple-SQ, and Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna are all talking amongst each other. Russ is thinking, "freakin' ultimate atomic fagnitch is gonna get knocked out if he doesn't leave this instance." Now one of the tech's from the service area comes up to Russ, and asks, "hey mang I need to see you for a sec in the back area." So Russ goes back to the tech area leaving dopple-SQ and Enterprise Cherna alone unfortunately, except he get's the idea that one of his minions shall be required here. So Russ sidetracks without the tech's knowledge and goes outside and goes to the silver Titan that's in the back row, opens the door and all the Correlo's fall out. The Correlo's are hella-pissed by now being cooped up in the Titan. They all start muttering and chanting "Correlo, Correlo, Correlo, Correlo," then Russ immidiately gets scared and pulls out his tmp and yells at the Correlo's and tells them to shutup. They all get this disturbed look on their face like their whole family just got picked off by a T-Rex, and decide to stop chanting. Now Russ starts describing the attack method for getting Enterprise Cherna to the Correlo's, and one Correlo on the side starts the chanting up again. Russ notices and signals to the lead Correlo, named Correlo-Feast, to take care of that cat. So Correlo-Feast staggers over to him and takes him and another unsuspecting Correlo and starts slashing them with his axe. Russ signals that that's enough and Correlo-Feast stops slashing and gashing, both badly torn Correlo's get up. Then one of them falls back down cuz his leeeeeeeg was too tore and couldn't handle the weight, so Correlo-Feast puts the axe in his head, fatality styles. All this commotion gets the uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh's disturbed who are waiting in the back ally. Then one of the Correlo's notices the uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh's getting riled up, so he point's to them, and yells out, "CORRELO!!!!!" Then the uuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh's start slowing walking towards the Correlo's position, and Russ starts thinking again, "oh scheiss, i hope they don't freakin' maul each other." Then the tech comes out to the lot and looks over and yells out, "hey Russ who are those foo's with all the axe's and stuff?" So Russ says back, "I don't know mang, they were just chillin' out here when i got here." So Russ decides to go back in with the tech to check on his truck situation before the tech suspects anything else.
|
|
-- 03.10.2005 Clip: Good good shizzle on the second part of that quiz. The dynamic between the Correlos and NIGGA Uhhhhhhhhssssssss was so so compelling and hella real. I give that peace 3 thumbs up (mutant stylez, come on now). I can't wait for the third installment. A couple probably not needed pointers:
1. Keep the Correlos as a main fixture in the quiz (especially when they yell, freakin' hilarious).
Feel free to post this peace up on the website...a running commentary if you will Russ D
|
|
-- 05.05.2005 Last time on "Pop Quiz: Hotshot", Russ D tries to summon one of his minions from the Titan that he stuffed all the Correlo's in. While doing this he pretty much incited a cloaked mini-brawl between the Correlo's and the uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh's. Correlo-Feast, the leader of the Correlo's has just did some nasty beat downs to his own boys for fagging off. The uuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh's have started to make there way over to the Correlo's, which will take awhile, cuz they're slow as hell. And now, the dopple conclusion to be concluded in probably a couple more parts. heh. As Russ starts heading back in with the tech, he snatches up this baby-midget Correlo and stuff him in his backpack for safe keeping. So they get into the back area, where Russ' truck is chillin' up on the giga-jack, and tech-homey asks Russ how to pop the hood. And Russ says back, "what idiot, there's a lever in the cab foo, don't you know, you work on these trucks every day?" The tech says back, "oh yah, i forgot, my bad." Russ notices there are other techs back there in the office so he goes ahead and opens his backpack and unleashes Micro-Correlo. So M-Correlo runs at tech-sucka and starts mauling him, and Russ D bolts outta there. On his way back to the showroom area, in the back haul he sees this one guy on a computer. So Russ thinks, eh, maybe he'll let me check my emailio. So he walks in and asks if he could check his emailio, and the dude says, "hold up man, I'm almost done downloading this movie." Then Russ says back, "oh, that's cool, I'll wait." Then Russ is watching him, and notices he's using dopple-LAZARUS, known for making anything GIGA-healthy. Also outta no where, this dude starts downloading this picture of Hoshi from Enterprise. So Russ keeps watching and the file downloading is getting healthy, now at 389%. Then it starts to increase mega fast and the monitor starts to shake a little, the dude sitting there gets all nervous and excited, so he jumps up and runs toward the door and gets knocked out by this bar that was sticking out of a cabinet. Russ proceeds to sit down in that busta's spot, by now the monitor and whole desk is mega shaking, and the healthiness is still increasing, up to 6398%. Russ says, "uh, I don't think anything ever is supposed to get that healthy, it can't be healthy for you," and he starts laughing at his own comment. Then sparks start coming out of the monitor and it's smoking, healthiness has pretty much peeked by now at 9855%. Knowing something ultimate-crazy is about to go down, he duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks under the desk and goes into the oh so cherished fetal position. As soon as he accomplishes the fetal position, the computer lets out an audio alert, "10000% STATUS, GIGA-HEALTHINESS ACHIEVED, RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!!!!!" Then a mega bright light consumes the whole room blinding Russ for like 5 seconds. As the light fades and Russ is beginning to see again, he notices some chick standing in front of the desk, he can only see her leeeeeeeeeeeeeegs though. He timidly says, "uh, hello." Then the lady crouches down and to Russ' wonder it's none other than Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Hoshi. So Russ asks, "uh, how did you um, I mean what the $&^#($?" Mmm...Hoshi laughs and then walks away. Russ is giga-confused now, so he follows Mmm...Hoshi into the showroom. As all this is going on, the uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh's have kept moving on their trek to get to the Correlo's for disturbing them. On the way across the lot, this random Pizza Hut beeeeznitch is looking at Maximas, One of the uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh's bumps in to him accidentally, and Pizza-Hut beeeznitch turns around and without noticing yells at the uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh's. This gets them even more pissed, and one of them comes up to PH-beeeznitch from behind and bites him in the neck taking out a huge chunk of neck-meat. The PH-beeeznitch then falls to the ground, dead. The uuuuuuhhhhhhh that bit him lifts his hands up and yells out in victory, "UUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Meanwhile back inside, everyone is just chatting in the main showroom area around this tight Z. Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna is talking about when he went to get rent a car from his own place of business. He was talking about how complicated it was filling out all the crap and what not. So then he says something about not getting a discount cuz he worked there, and he was getting mega-riled up about it, and finally he ended up paying more than the average customer cuz he was being suck a Super Cherna. After he finished everyone was just standing there being quiet, and Russ busts out with the, "dang mang, you got Jew-fizzled homey." And then everyone just starts giga-laughing, and Enterprise Rent-a-Car Super Cherna runs out of there all sad.
|
|
-- 05.05.2005 Previously on "Pop Quiz: Hotshot": All manners of chaos had descended on the Woodland Hills Miller Nissan Dealership. Enterprise Rent a Car Super Chernissimo just got played by his own company, because they charged him $350 dollars a day to rent a Pontiac Aztec...which is one of the most wretched cars ever made. One of the computer monitors belonging to one of the finance fag faces had just gone nova...giving birf' to Mmm...Hoshi...that sucka shouldn't have been rocking Dopple Lazarus so blatantly. Finally, the Correlos and Nigga UUUUUUHHHHHHHs are about to throw down in a sort of makeshift "Resident Evil Summerslam" event. We resume our story... As Enterprise Rent a Car Super Chernity runs across Ventura Blvd., Russ D hears him crying and muttering about how much of a fag he has become and how he doesn't know why he got punked by his own company. Russ D thinks to himself, Dang, straight Judaical status, homey..that's gotta hurt, but vhutever. Russ D takes the opportunity to mob back inside the dealership and make a beeline straight for Super Hotty Hot Hot Karina's office. As Russ D closes the door behind him, Karina says, There's too much crazy schiess going on out there, I needed to feast some lunch to calm my nerves, are you down? Russ D replies, Tight...what do you have? Super Hotty Hot Hot Karina opens a brown paper bag and pulls out a Carl's Jr. 1 lb. Six-Dollar shezburgey with all the fixins and some experimental Handi Snack that looks like it's made from Oreo components. Russ D goes straight for the experimental Handi Snack and hits it promptly...as he's hella digging in the snack, Karina's manager rolls up into her office. He notices that Russ D is rocking a T-Shirt with Tyler Hamilton's Phonak logo on it. Manager Sucka says, Oh you cycle? You're so tight dude...I used to bike too, back in '92...I had a vintage Trek. We should ride some time, cat. Cuz for real? You're super duper tight...off the chain, homey. Russ D thinks, This guy appears pretty tight, but something's not right. After the feast, Russ dopple accidentally spills a can of Dom P on Karina's desk, and it drips into her purse. Dopple SQ screams at Russ D, You beeeeeeeznitch...you wasted a perfectly good can of Dom P! And you ruined my purse! While Dopple SQ curses out Russ D, he stealth puts his head down on her desk like he has a dome ache, but takes the opportunity to plant an electronic bug that looks like a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup under the desk. Russ D thinks to himself, I just got my Blind Justice on...that mess was sweet. Russ D makes a comment about his cloaked ulcer flame broiling him and how he needs to leave. To make his point, Russ D lets loose with a couple of flaming demonic boooooooooks that melt a couple of Dopple SQ's picture frames and break the heels off her pumps. Dopple SQ falls over and micro twists her left ankle. Russ D says, Dang, my bad, pops a couple of Lime flavored Tums, and bounces up out of the office. As Russ D strolls outside the showroom onto the main lot, he notices that the Nigga UUUUUUHHHHHHHs have finally reached the position of the Correlos. Sensing a giga battle about to commence, Russ D puts in a call to his roll dawg, Von Bluddy Buckums. Russ D says into his cell phone, Player, you gotta get down here...all hizzzzell is about to break loose. Bluddy B responds, Tight, I was putting this laptop together for John Schneider from 'Smallville,' but vhutever, Roberre can get dopple me to finish it...I'll be down there in 10 minutes. Russ D takes the mini break to turn on the monitoring device for the bug he planted in Dopple SQ's office. Russ D is greeted in mid-sentence over the monitor with Manager Sucka's voice speaking to Karina, ...don't let that cat come in here anymore...he's not that tight. You need to shut him down or I cloaked have to fire you. Cuz I'll be honest with you...he's not that tight. When Russ D hears this, he gets ultra mad and shatters the monitoring device on the floor. Russ D thinks, What a backstabbing hooker to call me out behind my back like that...bebe beeeeeeznitch. Russ D knows what he must do...he rolls outside, sticks his two index fingers in his mouth and gives a GIGA shrill whistle. The Correlos look up from their inter-mingling by the silver Titan. Russ D waves his hands toward the showroom and says, Come with me, fellas, you suckas cloaked have work to do. The Correlos drop the stray chipmunks they were feasting on, stand up, and start slowly mobbing towards the showroom, chanting out in perfect, glorious harmony, CORRELO, CORRELO, CORRELO, CORRELO. The Nigga UUUUUUHHHHHHHs catch sight of this, and get hella pissed that they walked 75 feet for nothing. They spin on their heels, and follow closely behind the Correlos rocking the harmonious, UUUUUUUUUUHHHHHH...UUUUUUUUUUUUHHHH. Midget Sucka rolls out from the tech area in a 2006 Sentra that he boosted from the back inventory. It's got 18s on it and a tight paint job depicting his boss, Lord Sadler, smoking a Philly Blunt on the hood. Midget Sucka says to Russ D, I got this for 13000 PTAS...peace. Midget Sucka tosses up the vaunted two and burns out onto Ventura Blvd. Russ D shakes his dome in amazement and follows the mass of Correlos and UUUUUUHHHHHHHs inside to see what will happen next...
|